A Milestone
Who is that old woman in the mirror?
Since I turned 60, life has changed. There’s the now or never syndrome but also the ‘I feel old’ one too. Or just, I feel knackered.
I put it down to working like crazy in my 50s. Caring for my Mum, then my Dad, while working full time in my usual all guns blazing way. Bereavement when both my Mum, then my Dad, died. A new relationship with Chris. Moving house twice. Getting married. Being a carer, business manager, driving around the country. Not having a holiday since 2009 apart from a couple of days away here and there. All the while working and being the bread winner.
I just thought I was tired.
I spent much of the past decade sitting at a desk or in the car or at the back of a hall somewhere. I used to kickbox - not well but enthusiastically - now my fitness and energy have declined.
Until recently, I was spinning too many plates. I had no headspace. More importantly, no time to write. I aspire to write something of value in my lifetime but I enjoy jotting too. I realised, this week, that it’s been a year since I last held my camera in my hands.
The last work I did depleted me. Mentally and physically. In some ways, there’s an opportunity to be reborn now.
I can’t stop time. But I can regain my fitness, flexibility, strength and energy.
I’ve never been especially great at self-care. Or self-love. I muddled through. Ate reasonably well. Exercised half heartedly until I found kickboxing.
This turning 60 lark is quite the milestone. So much is changing and has changed.